Holy

By Natasha Bredle

the nightmare inside my chest materializes as sea urchins // something / sin something shame / bristles my ribcage / comes to life like / poison / & suddenly water looks foolish against it // but what of these / ocean arms / you say are carrying me? // sunlight / that ray of heaven splicing the clouds / dance of warmth on my skin // or / embrace of air / molecules / alive / in my lungs / filling / invisible but real // or / perhaps your arms are my mother’s / holding me / as i weep like a broken fountain // perhaps it is not seeing or hearing or feeling / just / knowing / you are here // but i falter still // you are here but i falter still / you are here / i falter still / i falter still // you are here because i falter still // remember when / i set foot on the earth yesterday? / i thought i would write myself into a story / to sooth another child to sleep // now i find myself begging at the feet of your pages / please / evaporate ink droplets / form a soft rain around me / like lullaby / like golden / or / so above beautiful no mortal can define it // no medicine no phenomenon no antidote // it is without metaphor // ocean arms // your presence / is beginning to make sense now / now that i’ve realized i will never fully understand it // pierce my palms, please / let me reflect you / i don’t want to be afraid anymore

Natasha Bredle is an emerging writer from Ohio. Her works have been featured in numerous international journals and anthologies, including Trouvaille Review, Full House Lit, and The Madrigal. She was a finalist in the 2022 Bennington College Young Writers Awards. In addition to poetry and short fiction, she has a passion for longer works and is currently drafting a young adult novel.